Diary

It's been a while. I view this blog more as a diary than a blog. I like to use this forum to keep track of my thoughts when I feel the need to write them down.

I feel like there is so much on the horizon that I can almost not comprehend. I am going to be starting a new job this next week that is hopefully going to become a lifetime career for me. This is my last week to be at home and be with my little one. It has been great being home with her, but I feel like I am truly at my best when I am not stuck at home. I can contribute so much more! Even when I would have 3 or more days off of work I would feel this way. I think it will be beneficial to be back on a routine schedule. I have guilt feeling this way...I feel that I should want nothing more than to stay home with my babe, but I don't feel this way. Does this make me a bad parent?

I don't know.

I just want to provide the best life for Audrey and I feel that in order to do this, me working will provide a great life for her. Between Tyler and I we are going to making enough to provide an amazing life for her, with room to grow! That's pretty great. It's hard right now, because I want to compare myself to others that I graduated with. They are already buying their own/building their own dream homes while we are still living in a one bedroom condo. We are just taking our time, I need to accept that.

I'm ready for this life change. I'm nervous about the changes, like I always am about change...bring it on though.

It's time for a change. I'm ready to have a new job. I'm ready to make changes to my physical life style, emotional life style, and everything else.