My journey to MILF status is not only a weight issue, it is also a clear skin issue.
Hello, my name is Nikki and I have psoriasis. Psoriasis is an autoimmune disease that basically has my immune system not working at it's optimal level. It is actually over acting, if only I were still in theatre, and producing new skin cells at an abnormally fast rate. Normal people shed skin cells on a regular basis, every month I believe it is. Well my skin cells decide to regenerate on a daily/weekly basis. So I end up with these lovely raised, red, scaly patches all over my body. My skin is an overachiever! If only it was a good thing. I was officially diagnosed when I was in my teens, maybe 16 or so. It didn't start truly affecting me until my early 20's. That is when it became obvious that my skin didn't look like everyone else's. It is something that affects my self esteem on a daily basis, so I finally decided it was time to take action and do something about it!
Back in 2008, a couple of months before my wedding in April of 2009, I went to a dermatologist to see what my options were on clearing my skin. I wanted to have clear skin for my wedding. She put me on Enbrel, a biologic drug that was a miracle worker in my case. I had never seen my skin so clear. It is a scary medicine in a way since you have to give yourself shots! but it worked and I was happy. It was costing me $50/month which was doable with the help of a "loyalty" card given to me by the drug manufacturer. Well, I had crappy insurance so that loyalty card ran out fast and unbeknowst to me I went to pick up my refill and the pharmacist told me the total would be $1200!!! Uhh....yea, thanks but no thanks. So that ended my clear skin run.
I have been on and off insurance up until recently so I never really went to a new dermatologist to check on the status of my psoriasis. It was manageable, so it wasn't a huge deal to me. Well, when I got pregnant, my psoriais flared a bit, and then went into a sort of remission. It never fully went away, but my legs were practically completely cleared, which was always my worst area. I was pretty stoked about having clearer skin. Unfortunately, as soon as I gave birth, my psoriasis came back with a vengence. I had Audrey on a Tuesday morning, and that evening in the hospital recovery room my skin started itching. In the weeks following I could see my skin get worse and worse as each day went by. I decided it was time to once and for all do something about it once I realized I was leaving psoriasis flakes all around my house and on my baby. It's gross, I know, but it's the truth.
I found my new dermatologist through the Psoriasis Foundation's website. I've only had one visit with him, but I can already tell we are going to have a good relationship. He was shocked at how quickly my psoriasis came back post partum. It usually gives new mothers a couple of months before coming back as badly as mine did, not just a few hours. So after thinking about it, I decided to try another biologic drug, Humira. This is another medicine that you have to self inject, but it is not as frequent as the Enbrel. It was a hard decision because I had to give up breast feeding. This is something I did not want to do, since I wanted to strictly breast feed for at least 6 months-1 year. But, I realized that in order for me to be the best mother I could be to my sweet baby, I needed to be comfortable with myself and happy in my skin. Which by this point, I wasn't. I was itchy, flaky and physically in pain. I would lay awake at night itching my skin and bleeding because I couldn't stop itching, even though I would try my hardest not to itch. This was also a hard decision because Humira is a serious drug. It supresses your immune system and can potentially have some crazy side effects. It scares the crap out of me to be taking such a serious drug, but after weighing the advantages and disadvantages, I decided it was the route I needed to take.
I am only one shot in and I can already tell a difference. My spots are not itchy and already becoming less red and inflamed. I was suffering from some joint pain, which is common with psoriasis sufferers, and that pain is completely gone. I take my second shot on Saturday and then have to inject myself every other week after that. From what I have read online, most people saw major clearing within 4-6 weeks. I'm praying that this medicine works and I can be comfortable in my own skin.
I have had some anxiety surrounding the shots because I am scared shitless of the possible side effects. On Friday, when I had my first shot, I had a minor panic attack thinking I was going to be one of the rare cases that had an allergic reaction. Obviously I am fine and still here, but that is just how my mind works. Hopefully my anxiety surrounding the shots will subside as well. Only time will tell I suppose.
No comments:
Post a Comment